A Lesson in Resilience at 8,000 Feet
And a science-backed way to keep rising to challenges
👉 New white paper available. No Time for Retreat: A Case for Investing in Capacity-Building for Mission-Driven Leaders and Teams in 2025. Drop “No Time for Retreat” in the comments, and I’ll send it to you.
In the mountains of Northern California, it is a bluebird day. Fresh snow is everywhere, and there is not a cloud in the sky. I’ve just gotten onto a ski lift with my son. He is a competitive skier; I’m a mediocre one. The bar is up, but I’ve swung my arm over the back seat to hold on while trying not to look too obvious.
It is the same lift both my sons and I rode together many times before, eating bite-sized Snickers bars while passing an icy pond below. At the top, we always parted ways. My sons went left—to the more challenging terrain—and I went right, the “easy way down.”
But this time, my son says I should go left with him. He points to the area known as The Palisades, famous for its granite cliffs and expert terrain.
I laugh at the idea, but he insists, pointing to an area he says I can handle.
“OK,” I finally say, “I’ll try it.”
But when we reach the top, I stop in my tracks, not sure I can do it. Another mom and her teenage son are nearby, seemingly weighing the same decision. A moment later, she turns right, and her son turns left.
I’m left wondering what direction I will take.
A Research-Based Hack for Cultivating Resilience
In these challenging times, we all need a dose of courage and a boatload of resilience. We need the courage to go beyond our fears and the resilience to bounce back from setbacks.
Yet resilience can sometimes feel abstract or even stale in the face of the relentless complexity of the world.
That’s why I was struck by a recent 2024 study on resilience and aging published by the American Psychological Association. The research found that, for many people, resilience actually strengthens over time—not because challenges become easier, but because experience teaches us how to face them.
The takeaway is simple: One of the most effective ways to cultivate resilience is to reflect on past challenges you’ve already overcome or at least survived. However, it’s important not to just do this in a general motivational tone of “I survived that; I can survive this,” but on a deeper reflection, asking questions such as:
What was a significant past challenge I faced?
What specific strategies, perspectives, or support systems helped me through it?
How can I apply those insights now?
What Helped Me, What Helps Us
Back on the mountaintop, my mind flashes to the challenges I’ve been navigating beyond the slopes. My oldest son had just left for college, I was in the midst of a divorce, and I was grieving the recent loss of my mom.
Life was moving fast. And I didn’t want to miss moments like this.
So, I turn left.
Advancing slowly, I follow a narrowing traverse along the ridge. The drop to my left is steep, and I feel a deep, irrational fear that gravity will pull me down. To compensate, I lean to the right. My son turns back and tells me being off-balance is worse.
I feel frozen with fear.
Just then, a woman about my age skis by and stops.
“Are you OK?” she asks.
“I’m scared,” I admit. “I don’t feel like I can do this.”
She moves closer.
“You can,” she says gently. “Just take it slow. I’ll stay with you.”
And just like that, I inch forward. Ten yards. Then another ten. Until I reach my son, waiting just ahead. I look down. And I realize I can do this.
I turn my skis downhill. Make one turn. Then another. And another. Suddenly, I am doing what I thought I couldn’t. And I feel vibrantly, wonderfully alive.
Two Essential Elements: Clear Motivation and Compassionate Support
Looking back, I see that two things made it possible for me to embrace this challenge and bounce back from being frozen in fear:
Clear motivation—I didn’t want fear to make me miss out on this experience with my son.
Compassionate support—A stranger showed up to lend support.
These elements align with two key stages of the Hero’s Journey:
The Call to Adventure—This is often followed by initial hesitation.
Meeting the Mentor—Someone offering wisdom, tools, or encouragement.
Of course, finding one’s way down a mountain is one thing. Climbing the mountain of challenges before us now is quite another.
Staying committed to climate action, equality, democracy, and other vital causes will be herculean work in 2025. And none of us can do it alone.
That is why I am passionate about my work—coaching and leading workshops to help leaders and teams build the capacity to address today’s extraordinary challenges.
After all, advancing important causes is not a solo sport; we need each other.
Want to learn more?
👉 Read my new white paper, No Time for Retreat: A Case for Investing in Capacity-Building for Mission-Driven Leaders and Teams in 2025. Drop “No Time for Retreat” in the comments, and I’ll send it to you.
👉 Book a free discovery call.
No time for retreat
On its way.