Holding a Candle in the Dark
Watering the seeds of a better future, for ourselves and others
Sometimes, I find it hard to remember what I wanted out of life before the answer was a stable climate for my children and all young people. A world in which the powerful do not run roughshod over those with far less privilege. A gentler, kinder world that does not cause us to miss the profound gifts of being alive on this miraculous planet.
Of course, that’s not altogether true. I know I have long been motivated by a desire to find love, raise a family, learn about life, travel, and see what I could make of myself.
But somewhere along the line, what has been happening in our larger world felt like it was starting to crowd out my little world and all those things and people that mean so much to me. Climate change felt that threatening. The decline of democracy felt that concerning. The inequality chasm, as Christiana Figueres calls it, felt that heartbreaking.
Gradually, my attention shifted from a wide-eyed exploration of life to something more akin to the eyes of a deer caught in headlights. Every day seemed to pack a punch, and I found myself being triggered and triggered and triggered again.
This, of course, has reached a crescendo in recent weeks. For seemingly half of our country—and beyond.
Happiness and Ordinary Heroism
So, what do we do? Is it possible to proceed with wide-eyed discovery while also seeing the growing threats and helping to water the seeds of a better future?
We will all, I suppose, find answers to that in our own ways. But what I know is that is my great desire now. My goalpost. My Northstar.
I do not want to let those causing so much consternation and suffering define my life. I want to define my life. And that now means being grateful for love, family, and growth and taking my place among a global tribe that wants to help the world, in Joseph Campbell’s words, lean toward the light.
It’s not one or the other: the better interest of my personal life or our collective one. And it’s not one at the expense of the other.
Becoming the Leaders We Need
This is what I believe it means to live with ordinary heroism and joy in today’s world. It’s not about turning away from the world’s troubles in despair. And it’s not about going into a kind of combat that strips us of all appreciation for life.
I think of ordinary heroism and joy as walking a middle path—one in which we try to become our best, biggest, most giving selves in a world that needs us without losing sight of all the good and wonder that is here.
“If we don’t have the leadership we want,” Figueres said in a talk at Upaya Zen Center on Sunday, “we have to call forth the leadership we need.”
And that kind of leadership, like ordinary heroism, is something we are all capable of.
I know that may sound outlandish now. Few of us tend to feel heroic, especially in this daunting moment.
But we don’t need to feel it to be it. And to be it, we just need to focus on the age-old values of courage, altruism, and integrity. In other words, we just need to get clear, go beyond fear, and persevere.
The Integrity of Making an Effort
Indeed, having the integrity to “be in the arena,” as Teddy Roosevelt said, may be one of the most important things we can do now.
For some of us, this might mean dedicating our professional or volunteer life to working for causes bigger than ourselves, even though the fight has become infinitely harder. For others, it might mean doing all that is required to raise good, resilient, and wise young people.
There are no bars on the door of what it means to engage in ordinary or everyday acts of courage, altruism, and integrity—because there are no limits to how we can hold a candle for others, even when the darkness feels oppressive.
This exploration of ordinary heroism is my little way.
If you’d like to explore it together, I will hold a space for conversation next Tuesday, February 11, at noon et/9 a.m. pt. Please message me with your email or comment below, and I’ll send an invite.