Not Letting Fear Win

Navigating Election Stress With Courage, Clarity, and Compassion

For many of us, it is tempting to think we have only two options during these final weeks before America’s momentous presidential election.

One is to fight like hell for an election result that is pro-planet, pro-democracy, and pro-equality. The other is to hit a self-protective pause on attending to it all to maintain what might be left of our sanity.

I have felt both, often simultaneously. But I believe there’s a third, equally important choice: to relate to our fear differently—and decide not to let it win.

Allow me to explain. First, I don’t mean there are not massively consequential things at stake that we should fear. The health of the planet, democracy, and equality are only the most obvious among them.

Indeed, the significance of the stakes is why it’s natural that to respond by fighting or trying to flee the relentless reminders.

And the truth is we need to do both: We need to fight for what is right, and we need to give ourselves a break because sustaining ourselves is not separate from sustaining the planet, democracy, and equality.

Second, I also do not mean that we should strive to be fearless. Few of us are authentically capable of that. Moreover, striving to be fearless could lead us to overlook the fearsome things that we need to attend to.

Third, and finally, here’s what I do mean: We need to relate more wisely to the fear that many of us feel right now. Before I explain, consider why this matters.

The Impacts of Fear

Research shows that fear undermines our higher-order cognitive functions including reasoning and decision-making, making us more likely to respond impulsively rather than thoughtfully.

It also can undermine our mental health, as Prof. Margarida Limo Remo and her colleagues from the NOVA School of Law in Lisbon wrote in an article published this month in Current Psychology.

Fear tends to narrow our focus to perceived threats, limiting our attention to other important information and making problem-solving more difficult.

And, getting hooked by fear can make it harder for us to adapt to new information and circumstances.

Given these consequences, it's critical that we find a more constructive way to engage with fear, rather than be consumed by it, especially when the stakes are high.

Developing a Different Relationship to Fear

Kristen Ulmer is considered one of the world’s best extreme skiers. That might make you think she is one of those rare people willing to throw herself off cliffs without feeling the fear the rest of us would feel just at the thought of it. But that’s not the case.

In her book, The Art of Fear, Ulmer writes: “Everything you think you know about fear is wrong.” Fear is not the problem, she suggests; our response to it is. We see it as an enemy. Instead, we need to befriend it. We need to understand that fear has something to teach us—but that doesn’t mean it must dominate us.

Pema Chödrön’s wonderful little book, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, tells a story that reflects this.

“Once, there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn’t want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle.

“The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, ‘May I have permission to go into battle with you?’ Fear said, ‘Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission.’

“Then the young warrior said, ‘How can I defeat you?’ Fear replied, ‘My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power.’

“In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear.”

The Accessible Power of Ordinary Heroism

In short, developing a wiser relationship with fear helps give us back our power in these challenging times, enabling us to think more clearly, manage our emotions, and sustain ourselves as we work to sustain the planet and other worthy causes.

This is how we embrace ordinary heroism—acting with integrity, altruism, and courage—no matter what is happening in the larger world.

It is like keeping our focus on the needle of a compass, which remains steady and true to its direction even as the winds swirl about us.