Protecting Ourselves from Cynicism and Despair
Not Letting the Worst of Us Overtake the Best of Us
If navigating the current upending of America’s greatest values were a marathon, we would now be past the warm-up stage but still early in the first leg. In other words, 2.2 miles down, 26 to go.
It can be daunting to consider that there are 1,340 more days of this and countless more to undo the damage afterward. There’s a temptation to put our heads down and try to keep up as best as we can—do our work, care for our families, tend to our communities, and keep ourselves afloat in whatever way we can.
But I have found that is not enough.
In times as challenging as these, we need something more to protect ourselves from the risk of ever-growing cynicism and despair. Something bigger to attach ourselves to. Something powerful enough to help us not be diminished by bearing daily witness to so many causes for heartbreak while feeling inadequately equipped to stop them.
Something that ensures we do not let the worst of us overtake the best of us, as individuals or a nation of 341 million people.
Strong Back. Soft Front.
When I feel aligned with this determination, I aspire, in the words of Roshi Joan Halifax, to have a strong back and soft front.
In Standing at the Edge, Halifax writes, “All too often, our so-called strength comes from fear, not love; instead of having a strong back, many of us have a defended front, shielding a weak spine.”
Developing a strong back—a sense of integrity and groundedness—allows us to support a soft front, meeting uncertainty with courage and compassion.
This, needless to say, is a lifelong practice. But here are three things I find helpful along the way.
Connecting to Purpose. If you are reading this, you likely are already connected to some sense of purpose, whether caring for your family or the planet or anything in-between. Quite likely, you also know that connecting to purpose is wildly motivating and energizing.
But in an age of more crises than we can keep track of, connecting to purpose can be unusually challenging. Which purpose? How do we succeed? What if we don’t?
I know no other way to resolve questions like these than quieting down to listen to my own heart and what it most deeply calls on me to do at this moment.
Taking Care of Ourselves. This one is easy for us to overlook, especially those of us working on values-driven causes, such as climate action, defending democracy, or providing healthcare to others.
But not taking care of ourselves is dangerous to us and the people or causes we seek to protect.
I recently spoke with an emergency room doctor who didn't realize how burned out she was until a nurse pointed out that she had just instructed her to give medication to the same patient five times in a row.
Today, I downloaded a mindfulness bell, set it to ring at the top of every hour, and then paused for its 30-second duration. The intention is to pull back from whatever I am doing and re-center myself. I've tried this before but found myself working right through the bell. This time, however, I'm trying harder, thanks to hearing someone describe it as a way to avoid living on autopilot.
Connecting with Others. Whatever our cause or purpose, it most assuredly does not rest on our shoulders alone. Connecting with others reminds us of that; it also helps lessen the relative sense of challenge.
As happiness researcher Sean Achor has pointed out, when people look at a mountain they intend to climb, if they view it with others, brain scans show that the mountain appears smaller than when they look at it alone.
But there is more to connecting with others than helping us be better equipped to rise to the challenges before us. It also, quite simply, is the best—and, these days, arguably the most needed—thing we can do for our well-being.
And when we support our well-being, we are far more likely to sustain the best of us.
Through my seven-point framework, The Better Now Shift™, I help values-driven people transform burnout, overwhelm, and emotional exhaustion into greater clarity, courage, and impact.
Drawing on decades of work at the intersection of human potential, storytelling, and social change, my goal is to help release pressure and revive untapped capabilities. The happy bonus? Greater well-being. Learn more here. Or please connect. I’d love to chat.